2009
by GleekMom
Summary: Part 1.5 of the Ready to Fly Series. After coming out and the Sadie Hawkins dance, Blaine is sent away to boarding school. Are the walls of Dalton Academy strong enough to keep him safe? **Companion Fic to episode 6x12, "2009"**


**Author's Note:**

**I loved that the writers basically RTF'd the Pilot with Kurt missing scenes. I'm glad it's given me the opportunity to write Blaine's beginnings at Dalton because I've been thinking about it since Dalton burned.**

**It was great to see how far Kurt has come from the beginning to the end. Let's see how our Daydream Believer does.**

**Thank you to bowtiesandboatshoes, who is one of the best betas I've ever had.**

**I'm dedicating this chapter to my friend Curt Mega. I wish they'd listened to everything I said too, and I would have loved for you to have seen an episode I wrote. ;-)**

* * *

The gates of Dalton Academy were foreboding and Blaine wondered if he was being driven from the frying pan into the fire. He looked at his parents in the front seat as they drove toward a large brick building he imagined to be the main school. His father looked grim, though he rarely looked anything but. His mother sensed his nerves in the back seat and turned to him with a brave smile.

"Doesn't it look great?" she said, trying to be encouraging.

Blaine didn't say anything. He couldn't. His mouth was dry, his heart was pounding and his skin was bristling with nerves. His mother told him that Dalton was safe. But she told everyone that home was safe too and lies spilled from all their lips like honey.

They parked the car and Blaine was escorted to the Headmaster's office where he stood up straight and shook hands with all the decorum required by his father's hand gripped on his shoulder. He was handed his schedule, a map of the campus, and keys to his room and they returned to the car to drive his things to the place he would live the next four years. He wasn't ready to call it home. He didn't even know what the word meant.

Blaine grabbed one duffel bag, his mother the other, and his father carried the rest. There wasn't much. He'd be wearing the Dalton uniform most days so packing his clothes had been light. Besides, he didn't really like anything he'd left behind. Those clothes felt like they belonged to another kid in another lifetime. He was actually thankful for the uniform that could hide him in the crowd while he figured out who he truly was and what was safe.

He couldn't help his eyes going wide as he entered the dorms. Beautiful brick and stone were everywhere, the furniture was rich and the decorations classic. It was quiet. Classes had already been in session a week by the time the arrangements had been finalized, strings pulled by a man who always got his way. Well, not always. If the Colonel had truly gotten his way this time, Blaine would be on his way to Hargrave Military Academy right now. But his mother had fought this time and won. Blaine wished he knew if it had been worth the cost.

Three flights up, and through a common room with a kitchen and many comfortable couches, they all looked around. "This one's yours," his father announced and held the door to his new room open. Blaine slid by the Colonel, his muscles tensing as they always did now when he was so near. No matter all the things that could go wrong at Dalton, that was the one thing he was grateful for. He was pretty sure that living in fear of him from a distance would be better than how things had been most of his life, and most especially the last six months. "The headmaster said that your roommate was from a fine, upstanding family, the youngest of five Dalton alums. I hope he will be a good influence on you."

"Yes sir," Blaine mumbled and he took in the other side of the room as he put his own things down on the bed. His roommate liked Polo and fox-hunting and Blaine wondered briefly if he was British. His things were neat and organized, something Blaine was grateful for. There were lots of things about having a roommate that scared Blaine, but at least cleanliness didn't have to be a worry.

"It's going to be fine," Amy Anderson whispered to her youngest son as she helped him unpack his bag. "Everyone here is going to love you."

Blaine just looked over at her, disbelief in his eyes. No one back home loved him. Why would anyone at Dalton?

* * *

Students had slowly started trickling back into the dorms by the time they'd unpacked. The headmaster had suggested that his parents not prolong their departure, so once all his clothes were put away, his bed was made and his seven matching uniforms hung neatly in the closet, it was time for them to go. Blaine's roommate would be there soon to show him around campus and tell Blaine all he needed to know and his parents certainly didn't need to be there for that. Grabbing all the boxes and suitcases except for one, the Colonel piled them by the door then folded his arms across his chest, staring sternly at his son.

"I expect that your behavior here will be exactly what I'd demand at home. Your schoolwork comes first. I've told the headmaster to call me if there are any problems and I guarantee you Blaine, if there are problems then there will be consequences for your actions." Blaine swallowed as his heart sped up. He didn't have to be told the consequences, he knew them all too well. "And you remember our deal," he said, pointing a finger at him just in case Blaine had somehow managed to forget, "or you won't be at Dalton very long at all."

"Yes sir," Blaine answered. He shifted his eyes away from him to the ground as soon as he could. His father gathered everything up and without another word made his way out to car.

"Everything's going to be okay Blaine," his mother tried to reassure him, cupping his cheek in her hand like she always had when he was a child. He knew she'd been lonely but Blaine missed the days after Cooper left when his dad had been overseas and it had just been the two of them. "You're safe here, these walls will protect you."

"Who's going to protect you?" he asked quietly, eyes shifting up to meet hers. He saw the pained look in her eye that turned brave just after he caught it. But his own only filled with tears. "Don't go Mom, don't leave me here alone," he cried. His voice shook, but whether it was with fear or anger he wasn't sure.

"It's time Blaine," she said, running her palm down his arm until her hand was in his. She squeezed it tight. "Come kiss me goodbye."

Blaine didn't want to, he wanted to hold her tight and never let her go. If these walls were the protection that she said they were then she should have been able to stay there with him too, safe inside. But he knew she wouldn't stay. She would never stay with him, she would go back to him every time. She always had. Blaine leaned in and kissed her cheek, praying that it wouldn't color black and blue too soon after she left. She pressed her palm to his cheek one last time, offered him a brave smile, and then walked out the door.

Blaine just stood there, staring. He wanted to chase her, to force her to bring him home with them, but he knew where that would end. His father didn't want him. His so-called friends had turned their back on him. Nothing but pain waited for him outside the walls of Dalton.

He only wished he knew what waited for him inside.

* * *

"Are you okay?"

Blaine startled and he braced himself, his heart pounding. He turned to see a boy in a Dalton uniform standing against the wall across the room. Arms folded, straight brown hair a bit of a mess, the boy's hazel eyes similar to his own staring back at him. Blaine looked down, embarrassed, and quickly wiped away his tears. "Yeah. Fine," he said warily.

"Sorry I scared you," the boy said, flashing a soft smile and taking a few steps closer. "My name's Nick." He'd watched the boy and his mom with a growing knot in his chest. The new boy stood in khaki slacks and a button down shirt, black hair slicked back. His mother, shorter, beautiful, dark hair flowing, had looked up at him as if he was the most precious thing in the world to her. Their words had been as haunting as the look in her eyes. He knew he shouldn't have watched them, but the weight in his chest had been so heavy he hadn't been able to move from the spot. There was so much he wanted to say, but all he said was, "The first day's the hardest."

"Yeah," Blaine said shyly, looking around. There was no one else there yet. "Are you my roommate?"

Nick chuckled and leaned against the wall. "No. Trevor's your roommate, but he has polo practice so he won't be back for a bit. I got out early, but in about ten minutes the dorm will be full of guys."

"Oh," Blaine said. His eyes fell to the ground, hiding the tears that wanted to fall, but he forced them back up, squinting at Nick. "I'm just gonna go back to my room."

"Yeah, okay," Nick said, taking a step. He wanted to do more, say something that would help the kid feel just a little bit better about being at Dalton. But he'd put up a wall, and Nick would respect it. "If you need anything my roommate Jeff and I are just two doors down."

"Thanks," Blaine said and he started back. He needed to be alone. He needed to change into his uniform. He needed to cry and he needed his fingers to strum the strings of his guitar and he needed to sing until the tears stopped. He needed life to make some kind of sense again. Part of him knew he couldn't do it alone and he turned back as he reached the door. "My name's Blaine," he suddenly offered.

Nick's smile flashed bright. "It's nice to meet you Blaine."

* * *

"So what do you think his deal is?" Jeff asked, staring at the ceiling. It was midnight. They should have been sleeping. They had to be up at 6am for breakfast before classes. But Jeff was an infamously terrible sleeper, and in the last two weeks Nick had found his own schedule suffering.

"I don't know exactly. But there's something he's hiding. He and his mom almost looked scared when she left." He didn't say anything about Blaine asking who would protect her. He hadn't been meant to hear it, he certainly wasn't going to pass it on. "I can't even imagine coming here after missing freshman orientation."

"Yeah, it was amazing," Jeff said, reminiscing. The first day had felt like drowning and the next five days felt like every single one of his Dalton brothers was there to pull him out. He knew Nick felt the same way and many of the others did as well. They'd gotten to know each other more intimately than they probably had known any friends before. They'd learned to trust one another, to rely on each other. They'd heard story after story from upperclassmen and alums about how Dalton had saved their lives and made them better and more successful than they ever would have been without it. "I don't know how we even try to make up for that with him."

"I don't know," Nick said. "But we have to try. Trevor's not gonna do it, he's so lost in his Crawford girlfriend and polo, he's barely ever around. Blaine's gonna need someone he can trust here. No reason it shouldn't be us."

"Well I can think of a lot of reasons it shouldn't be you," Jeff joked, and he braced himself for the pillow that landed across his face a second letter. Jeff grinned. "Thanks, I'm keeping that."

"You're a jerk. Night Jeff."

"I'm a cute jerk though!" Jeff countered, and after only a minute the pillow went flying back to Nick.

"I knew I could trust you," Nick teased. "Now go to sleep, I'm not dragging your ass out of bed in the morning."

"Oh yes you will be," Jeff said.

Nick just sighed. He knew he would be. He thought he might be doing it every morning for the next four years.

* * *

Blaine went through his second day from class to class feeling like his head was spinning. There were so many rules, the work was harder and he was already a week behind. He found himself still looking over his shoulder waiting for someone to lash out at him, but so far no one had. Everyone seemed nice. The no bullying policy was plastered in every hallway and cafeteria.

But still he walked on eggshells. His friends at his old school had been nice too. His father had always been strict but he didn't grow mean until he'd come home from Iraq. So he kept to himself in the dorm but the guys were nice enough to give him the space he needed. His roommate was rarely around except to sleep which was fine with Blaine. He wasn't ready to be subjected to a thousand questions. Trust wasn't something that he was ready to give.

Friday night he laid back on his bed, guitar in hand, quietly playing as well as he could nearly upside down. His eyes were closed and he hummed softly to the music. It was raining and everyone was outside in the common room and part of Blaine wanted to join them. But the other part was scared. Conversation in a crowd of boys like that inevitably ended up being about girls and sex and as much as he wanted to be himself here and come out, his dreams were still full of flashbacks and they kept him trapped. He was thinking that it would be nice though, to be a part of the group when someone knocked on the door. He sat up and put the guitar down. "Come in."

"Hey," Nick said as he opened the door and hung in the doorway. "We heard you playing," he said nodding to the guitar. "I've heard you playing a lot actually. We all have."

"Oh." Blaine blushed and looked down. "I'm sorry. If it was bothering anyone-"

Nick smiled warmly. "It doesn't bother anyone. You could come out and play, you know, if you wanted. But it seemed you needed a little space, so we didn't want to…" Blaine looked up at him and Nick wondered what he must have been through to make him this skittish. "Do you sing too? Or do you just play?"

Blaine relaxed slightly at the question. "Oh, I, um…I sing too. Well, I mean, I sing a lot better than I play, especially guitar. I grew up playing piano but obviously I couldn't bring one here."

"Cool," Nick grinned. "There's an informational meeting tonight for the Warblers. That's the acappella group. Word is the boys are like rockstars. Jeff and I are both gonna go, you should come check it out. They have a piano," Nick winked.

Blaine just stared at this boy who was looking at Blaine like they could be best friends and he suddenly grew tired of being caught in the trap. "I'm gay," he blurted out, his heart beating fast in his chest.

Nick blinked and then laughed softly. "Well I'm straight. So are you gonna come with us or what?"

But Blaine didn't know how to take that. He didn't know if Nick was playing him or setting him up or what, and fear turned to anger. "Did you just hear me? I said I'm gay."

Nick looked like he wanted to reach a hand out but at the last moment stopped himself. "Nobody cares about that here Blaine," he said gently, then chuckled. "Well, I mean, I'm sure if anyone else is gay they might care, you're a good looking guy. But, no one's gonna have a problem with that here. I'm sure you must have seen that there's a zero tolerance policy for bullying and even if there wasn't I'm sure that would be one of the last things you'd be bullied for at Dalton."

Blaine had spent the last six months beaten, bruised, in the hospital and beaten again because he was gay. He couldn't so easily believe Nick.

But he wanted to.

"Okay," he said with a tightness to his voice fueled by the racing of his heart. "I'll meet you there."

* * *

Blaine went that evening to the room known as Warbler's Hall. He'd heard Nick say that the Warblers were like rockstars, but he hadn't truly believed it until he walked into the packed room of boys chattering excitedly. He took a seat in the corner by himself and everyone finally fell silent when the Warbler's Council and current members came out and introduced themselves.

He listened quietly, though it was hard to pay attention. Singing was something he had always done. His childhood was full of fundraisers his grandfather had taken him to with Cooper. He was lead soloist in the choir in junior high. It was something that had set him apart and made him feel special. He'd always felt safe and powerful performing.

He hadn't sung in public though since the Sadie Hawkins dance.

He hadn't been sure coming to Dalton if he would sing. Over the summer he'd mustered up the courage to ask for a guitar and he'd spent the hours exiled in his room learning how to play. It was hard at first, especially before his arm had fully healed, but he'd figured it out pretty quickly watching youtube videos. Still, seeing the piano in the Warbler's room made his fingers itch with desire. He wanted to play. He wanted to sing again.

"So auditions will be Monday night," the Head Warbler, Wes, was saying. "We are who we are because we are selective. We only take the best."

That didn't scare Blaine. He knew he was good, he'd been told it his whole life, every time he'd been given the opportunity to perform. He thrived in the spotlight. It wasn't even the applause. It was the feeling of being someone different, someone free, if only for a few minutes.

But looking over at Nick, sitting and laughing with Jeff and a bunch of the other guys, Blaine's heart beat in his chest. Because he'd trusted before and he'd been betrayed. Nick said that no one would care if he was gay, but it was enormously hard to believe after suffering so much already. And there was the other part of it too, something Nick had said that was nagging in his mind. If he performed with the Warblers, he couldn't hide anymore. Everyone would know him. And it wouldn't be long before everyone knew he was gay. But if Nick was right, then that meant that there might be guys on campus that would want that. Would want him. Which was something that Blaine craved more than almost anything in the world. There was only one problem.

Blaine wasn't allowed to date.

After the meeting he left on his own but Nick and Jeff jogged up next to him. "So what do you think?" Nick asked cheerfully. "You gonna audition?"

Blaine was slightly surprised to find how easily he fell into step with them. "I don't know. I mean I want to it's just…" He trailed off. How could he explain that he was afraid of the attention the group would bring him?

"You have to," Jeff said throwing his arm around Blaine's shoulder. "I've heard you in your room when you think no one's listening and damn boy, you could be leading the Warblers one day. Maybe even a legend! Come on," he begged, jostling him playfully. "Say you will. Please!"

Blaine couldn't help but laugh and he nodded. "Fine. Yes. I will, I'll audition," he said and he broke out into a huge grin when Jeff and Nick high-fived over his head. "You guys are ridiculous," he teased.

"Ridiculously competitive. With you in the Warblers, they are sure to win Sectionals!"

"_We_ are sure to win sectionals," Blaine corrected. "I only want to do it with you two by my side."

* * *

The entire dorm held their breath as they waited in the common room for their dorm mates to return. Having Warblers in their building and on their floor gave them prestige over others and the third floor had a chance of having three Warblers in their midst. The anticipation could be felt in the air.

The doors burst open and the Blaine, Jeff and Nick were led inside by the dorm monitors, solemn faced, their eyes on the floor. All the energy in the room collectively deflated as their hopes were dashed, but then suddenly the upperclassman grinned. "Give a warm welcome to our three newest Warblers!"

Blaine looked up and grinned as the whole room shouted and cheered. Suddenly everyone was on him, hugging him, patting his back, offering congratulations. He tried not to flinch at the hands on him. He tried not to let the feeling of the room spinning ruin the moment. It was a stark contrast to how he'd left his last school and he wanted to enjoy it, but instead he stood frozen, feeling like he was watching himself from the outside. Nick looked over and noticed right away.

Pulling away he grabbed Blaine's hand and led him out of the room, up the emergency staircase they weren't supposed to go up and out the door onto the roof. Blaine had no choice but to let himself be led there and when he was nearly pushed onto the roof, he took a deep breath of the clean, fresh air and his head cleared. He looked out onto the sprawling campus of Dalton Academy and stopped in awe.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Nick said, coming up next to him. The air was still warm and the soft breeze felt almost like a caress on Blane's cheek. "We aren't allowed up here, not officially. But you missed freshman orientation and I think this was the most important thing you missed."

"What?" Blaine asked, turning to him.

Nick took a seat on the roof's floor. Blaine hesitated for only a second before joining him. "We all sat here in a circle, looking out at Dalton. _Look at this school boys_, we were told. _There is nowhere else you will ever find as much love and acceptance as you will at Dalton Academy._"

Blaine looked up at him. He had no idea if it was true, but he wanted to believe it with all his heart. It was just hard. "At my old school…" He looked down at his fingers, then out into the darkness. He felt a chill but he didn't think it was the weather. "I was attacked. For being gay." His gaze shifted back to Nick. "I spent three days in the hospital. Then I spent the summer recovering." Punished. Imprisoned. But he didn't mention that part. "It's hard to trust," he admitted.

"I'm sorry," Nick said softly. "How did your parents take you coming out?"

Blaine's gaze shifted to this far away look, his shoulders tensed, and in the minute it took for Blaine to decide what kind of lie he would tell, Nick thankfully kept talking.

"You aren't the only one here with a similar story. If you let people in, you'll learn that." Blaine bit his lip and nodded and studied his fingers again. "So during orientation we all stood up and shouted our biggest fear about being here or our biggest secret that brought us here so that the whole campus could hear. We put it out there into the universe. For the school to hold in safe keeping."

Blaine shook his head. He couldn't do that. He couldn't say the words that loud again.

"I'm afraid my parents put me here so they could forget me. So they could concentrate on my little sister instead," Nick shared. He shrugged his shoulders. "They'd never admit it. But I still think it's true."

"What did you shout?" Blaine asked quietly.

"Abandoned," he said then he smiled softly at Blaine. "Gay is a lot shorter. If we yelled it together then probably only the universe would hear you."

"What if I wanted everyone to hear?" Blaine wondered almost to himself, then he looked at Nick. And he suddenly hated what he was doing. "What if I'm tired of the silence? They attacked me because I was out Nick, but I was proud of that. I was proud to be who I am. And I spent the summer hidden away and I guess I've been afraid of coming out of hiding. But I don't want to hide anymore Nick, I don't want to crawl back in the closet." His chest felt broader and his heart felt stronger and he stood up on that roof. "I'm gay," he told Nick adamantly, and feeling a weight lift off his chest he turned out toward the campus. "I'm gay!" he shouted into the air. "I'm gay! I'm out! And I'm proud!"

He waited. He waited for the skies to open up or for his phone to ring or for his father to just materialize in front of him. But none of that happened. He turned back to Nick with the largest grin he'd had in a very long time. And he felt like he could truly breathe for the first time. "Oh my god, that felt amazing," he laughed.

Nick beamed up at him. "So, are you ready to go back downstairs and see what our friends are up to?"

Blaine nodded. His friends. "I think that sounds like a great idea."

* * *

Blaine sang to the radio in the car as Joby drove them out of Westerville. When the Junior Warbler had asked him to have coffee with him, Blaine had frozen. And then he had said yes. And then he realized what he'd said yes to and he asked if Joby knew a good place out of town.

"I grew up here and I'm kinda sick of all the coffee shops," he'd said.

Well it hadn't entirely been a lie. He did grow up in Westerville though he wasn't really known for frequenting coffee shops. But other people he knew were and other people he knew might tell his dad and his dad might think this was a date which…well, Blaine wasn't sure.

"I know the perfect place near where I grew up," Joby had said, "but it's a ways away, is that okay?"

Blaine thought an hour drive in the car singing along to the radio was the perfect way to start a not-sure-if-it's-a date and he'd been right. By the time the two had gotten to the coffee shop, The Lima Bean, Blaine read as they pulled up, they were very comfortable with one another, talking about the Warblers and life growing up. He told Joby that he'd come out last year during 8th grade. He didn't tell him about the Sadie Hawkins dance. He certainly didn't tell him about his parents.

"So what'll it be?" Joby asked as they walked up to the counter. "This place has the best lattes, but their cappuccinos kinda rock too."

"Oh um." Blaine looked up at the board. He'd never had a latte or cappuccino before. He'd never even really had coffee before and he searched for what looked like the simplest thing. "I'm really just a medium drip kinda guy," he said, laughing slightly, trying to look cool.

Joby gave him a cute smirk. At least Blaine thought it was kind of cute. And then he stepped up to the counter. "Medium drip please," he asked and he pulled out his wallet. He looked up at Joby. The boy had asked him, but it was the polite thing to do to offer to pay. "What are you gonna have?"

Joby smiled and ordered a Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Blaine paid and the two of them went to go sit down. "I just need some sugar," Blaine said and they went over to the counter where the condiments were kept.

"You know, I used to come here all the time in junior high with my older brother," Joby said.

"I was 8 when my older brother left home, so we didn't do much coffee drinking together," Blaine laughed. "And when he was home he always spent more time with his girlfriends than me."

Blaine felt a tap on the shoulder and he turned to an African-American girl about his age. "Baby can you hand me some sugar?"

With a smile he did and then he turned back to his friend. Or his date. Or…

"You're the only openly gay person I know," Joby said and Blaine wondered how many guys at Dalton were still in the closet. He wondered how he'd feel dating someone not out. "That is so brave of you."

Blaine wanted to make him feel like he could be honest with him, even if he was too afraid to be honest with anyone else. Because if anyone knew that the pain of coming out was entirely worth it, he did. "Well, coming out was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I'm telling you it feels so nice to not be living a lie anymore." Or at least that lie. "But what about you Joby? Are you thinking about coming out any time soon?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth he recognized the panic on Joby's face. "What? I'm not gay. I'm as straight as an arrow. I'm attracted to women."

Blaine knew the lies and he knew the fear and he knew that pushing was something he shouldn't do. "Obviously. Of course, I had no idea…"

Joby turned around and went back to the car, sliding into the driver's seat. Blaine ran after him. He wanted to give him a minute to regain his composure but he was also more than a little afraid that Joby would drive off without him and leave him stranded. It was a good sign that the car wasn't on yet and Blaine got into the passenger seat. Joby didn't look at him. Blaine frowned.

"I'm sorry," he said, knowing there was so much he was apologizing for. "I didn't mean-"

"It's okay," Joby said cutting him short. Blaine looked down at his coffee, his hands growing hot around the cup. Joby looked over to him, worry in his face. "You won't tell anyone? Will you?"

Blaine smiled softly and held back the urge to squeeze his hand. And he closed his eyes because he understood far too well. "No worries," he said, looking back at him. "I know how to keep a secret."

* * *

Blaine's hands trembled as he packed his bag for home Columbus Day weekend. His father was coming to pick him up. Blaine didn't want to go at all. Everything had been going right for him at Dalton and he knew that the moment he got home the high he'd been feeling since auditioning for the Warblers would come crashing to the ground. There was a party at the country club. There was always a party at the country club. And since his grandfather had passed, those parties never went well for him.

He considered feigning illness but then he'd spend the weekend in the infirmary and he needed to go home. It didn't matter what happened to him. He needed to make sure his mom was okay.

The drive was short and quiet. Home was weird. They tiptoed around one another like they all were living in the same house but couldn't see each other. His father had gone into his office the minute they'd gotten home. Blaine sat on the stool in the kitchen to help his mom with dinner.

"Tell me about Dalton," she said as she peeled potatoes. She handed him a bowl of green beans and he snapped the ends for her. "Have you made a lot of friends?"

"Dalton's great mom. The Warblers are great. I'm sorry I have to leave early Sunday morning, but we have rehearsal and they're real sticklers. No one's allowed to even be late, much less miss a rehearsal," he said.

"Good," she smiled softly, looking at him with the love that only a mother had. "I'm glad you're happy there."

Blaine glanced at the door, before he leaned in and whispered. "How are you, are you okay? Has he-"

"We've been fine Blaine," Mrs. Anderson assured him. Blaine tried to search her eyes to see if she was lying, but he couldn't tell. "You can't keep worrying about me Blaine. You need to be a kid. That's why I wanted you at Dalton."

Blaine looked up at her, her face filled with hope. And just for a moment Blaine felt it as well. Maybe she was right, that at Dalton he could just be a kid again, not constantly worried about himself and his mother and the things that were hidden in their secrets and lies. He'd felt freer at Dalton in the last 6 weeks than he could ever remember in his life. Maybe now he really could stay safe.

* * *

"Oh my god Blaine, you have to tell us all about Dalton!" Suzy shrieked as she ran across the room.

The country club kids hadn't gone to public school with him and his father had made it a point to make sure no one knew about the attack. The Colonel would do anything he had to to ensure that no one knew his son was gay. Including sending him away to boarding school.

"Is it really just like Dead Poet's Society?" Melissa giggled, hanging on to her friend Jackie.

"Are you going to sing for us today?" asked Rebecca.

He hadn't been told but he wouldn't be surprised. "I don't know." Blaine looked over to where his mother and father stood. His father's ever watchful eye met his and he looked away. "Maybe I could try out the new song I'm doing with the Warblers," he beamed.

"Oh my god, you got into the Warblers?" Suzy shrieked again. "Blaine that's amazing."

"So what's it like, being with all boys all the time?" Blaine turned around. A tall, slim dark haired boy with a smug face looked him over. James had never liked Blaine. He was jealous, that much was clear. The girls had always flocked to Blaine since he was ten years old. "You must miss having girls around. Do you guys sneak away in the middle of the night to see the girls at Crawford?"

"Have you even met the Crawford girls yet?" a friend of James named Michael, asked. "I heard that they'll have sex with the Dalton boys on the first date. Bet you can't wait," he winked, then nudged him in the shoulder. "Unless you've already done the nasty with them," he teased.

"No I haven't…" Blaine's heart was beating. He had always hated these conversations. "I mean, I haven't even met them yet. But it's not a big deal. The guys at Dalton-"

"Are hot," Rebecca finished for him and all the girls giggled. Then she turned to him. "Do you think they're hot Blaine?"

Blaine's face turned bright red and he couldn't breathe. "I…" he stammered, but he didn't have to try to finish his thought.

"Blaine."

The Colonel's cold and unforgiving voice behind him didn't help his panic and he turned slowly to his father.

"I would like to see you in the other room now."

Blaine turned back to his friends. He couldn't even look them in the eye. "Excuse me," he said before he followed his father to a small, empty room.

"Dad-"

"What exactly were you planning to say there Blaine?" the Colonel asked. Blaine swallowed but he couldn't get his voice to work. The Colonel suddenly grew ten feet taller. "I asked you a question young man and I expect an answer."

"I don't know," Blaine said quietly, recoiling at his father's tone. He stared at his thick hands, flexing by his side. And all the safety and hope that his mom had made him believe existed for him disappeared in his father's fist. "Nothing," he whispered.

"You will go back in there, and you will be the gentleman I expect you to be," the Colonel ordered and though the words weren't said, Blaine knew exactly what he meant. "And tomorrow we will discuss this further."

Blaine's skin bristled. He forced himself to keep breathing. "I need to go back to Dalton tomorrow morning. After breakfast."

"Then we will _discuss_ this after breakfast before I bring you back," his father said.

Tears stung at Blaine's eyes. His father's discussions didn't tend to consist of too many words. The Colonel was a man of action. Blaine looked up. It wasn't his father's belt that scared him as much as going back to school and Warbler's rehearsal right after. "Couldn't we…couldn't we discuss it tonight?" At least then he'd have a little time to heal.

"Tomorrow Blaine," he said, dismissing the request. "And then maybe you'll remember the kind of behavior that is expected of you when you return to Dalton."

Blaine knew he had no choice. All he could do was nod and answer, "Yes sir."

* * *

He was quiet when he climbed the stairs to his dorm room. His entire body ached, inside and out. His heart most of all.

"Hey Blaine," Nick called cheerfully from across the room. "You got back just in time. Wes would have killed you if you were late."

"I'll meet you there, k?" He didn't have the energy to try and be okay. He probably should have because Nick's forehead creased with worry. Blaine knew he was just one step away from all of his secrets unraveling. So he didn't wait for an answer, he went into his room and closed the door, thankful that it stood unoccupied. Most of the kids wouldn't be back until tomorrow. He carefully undressed, keeping his eyes from the mirror that would make it all too real and he put his Dalton uniform on. He didn't know how, but it made him feel just a little bit stronger.

How he got through the hours of rehearsal he wasn't sure. There were times he thought he was going to pass out, but he faked it as best he could until finally it was over. Nick and Jeff were whispering across the room looking at him, but they were smiling so it couldn't have been anything serious. And then he felt a tap on the shoulder.

"Blaine?"

Blaine turned to see another freshman Warbler, face round and warm, with a sweet smile. He was friends with Nick and Jeff and he'd talked to him a few times, but for some reason they hadn't gotten close. "Hey Trent," Blaine said, forcing a smile through the pain. "What's up?"

Trent shuffled his feet and blushed and he looked over Blaine's shoulder back to Nick and Jeff before setting his eyes back on Blaine. "I um. I was wondering if you wanted to get together sometime. Like for coffee. Or something. Like a date."

Blaine lost his breath and his eyes went wide. "I…I can't." And he wanted to cry with the emotions that came crashing down on him because before this weekend he would have said yes. But now he knew that he needed Dalton more than anything and he'd been stupid to risk it all with Joby. He couldn't do that again. He couldn't do anything to jeopardize staying. "I'm so sorry, but I need to focus on school and the Warblers and I just don't feel like I can really take the time to date right now, but…" He saw Trent's face drop and he wondered if his lies were obvious and Trent thought he didn't like him. "Look, I'd really like us to be friends. If that's okay."

"Yeah. Sure," Trent said and he gave Blaine a brave smile though they both knew the rejection hurt. "I'll see you around."

Blaine watched Trent grab his things and walk out the door and Jeff stormed over to him. "Come on, Trent is adorable, why didn't you say yes?" Jeff asked, his righteous indignation on behalf of his friend clear. Nick looked a little more understanding and Blaine clung to that.

"I'm sorry guys, I need to take a walk," he said and he grabbed his bag and headed out onto campus. The day was gray, a chill was in the air and the grounds were almost empty. He didn't know where he was headed and he just strolled for a while, but when he came to the beautiful stone building he knew to be the campus chapel he felt something draw him in. He'd never been that religious, but places of worship held a special place for him. They had a power that gave them strength, even when he had none. He climbed the stone steps between two 4 foot tall hedges and he was pleased to find the door open. He found the sanctuary empty, the only movement the flickering of candles in their glass holders at the base of the altar. He knew they were there for prayer or just for anyone who wanted to get lost in the light and he walked the aisle, drawn to them like moth to a flame. There was something about them that made his heart still and made the pain fade slightly. Blaine took a long match and lit his own candle. He took a deep breath, drawing in the energy. He felt a peace wash over him and he stood there, just staring at them. Losing himself in the light.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he looked at the screen. Home. He had no idea if it was his mother or his father but either way he didn't want to talk. He didn't want to be told he was safe and protected, he didn't want to be reminded it was this or military school. He didn't want to be reprimanded or coddled by people who had never put him first. He was sick of the promises and the lies. He'd spent 6 weeks out from underneath their wing for the first time and what he'd realized was that he was ready to fly on his own.

He looked back at the flames. Outside they were strong or weak depending on the direction of the wind. But encased in glass, protected, they could burn bright. No one watching over them. No one tending them. On their own, but free.

He went to the window and looked out onto the empty campus. His phone buzzed with the warning of a voicemail and he felt a pang in his back. Tears came to his eyes, but he squeezed them shut, letting his voice shed the pain instead.

_The power lines went out  
And I am all alone  
But I don't really care at all  
Not answering my phone_

_All the games you played  
The promises you made  
Couldn't finish what you started  
Only darkness still remains_

Things were still the same at home. Dalton hadn't been some magical elixir to change things there. But his mom was right about one thing. Inside these walls he could be safe. He'd found a place where he belonged, a group he could belong to. Maybe he couldn't say yes to a boy, but he could be honest about who he was. He could make friends. He could have his music. He could sing.

_Lost sight, couldn't see  
When it was you and me_

He was going to make it different here. _He_ would be different here. It didn't matter how strong a hold on him they had out there because he wasn't out there anymore. He would let the walls of Dalton Academy keep him safe. He'd let the power of the blazer protect him. Whatever game he had to play, whatever mask he had to put on, he wasn't going to let anyone take that away from him. He was terrified, but he would put on a brave face until he found the courage inside himself.

_Blow the candles out, looks like a solo tonight  
I'm beginning to see the light  
Blow the candles out, looks like a solo tonight  
But I think I'll be alright_

Dalton was a bully free school and he would try every day not to let the bullies of his past destroy the future he could have here. He didn't know how yet, but Dalton would save him. He would let Dalton save him. He couldn't escape the things that would be there when he was home, but he wouldn't bring them back here. He'd suffer the pain alone. The truth of his family wouldn't exist here. No one here would ever know.

_Been black and blue before  
There's no need to explain  
I am not the jaded kind  
Playback's such a waste_

_You're invisible  
Invisible to me  
My wish is coming true  
Erase the memory of your face_

_Lost sight, couldn't see  
When it was you and me_

He watched one of the candles flicker out as it reached the end of its wick and he made his way back out onto campus, pulling his blazer around him. It would protect him from the memories and the pain as it protected him from the fall chill in the air. With it on, the Blaine beneath his father's hand wouldn't exist.

_Blow the candles out, looks like a solo tonight  
I'm beginning to see the light  
Blow the candles out, looks like a solo tonight  
But I think I'll be alright_

And one day, somehow, he would truly break free from his grasp. Some day he would be free from his father's hate and it would be his turn to win the game.

_One day you will wake up  
With nothing but your sorrys  
And someday you will get back  
Everything you gave me_

He walked for a long time until he stopped on the walkway and stared up at the stars starting to peek out above his dorm. And he wished, as he always did, not just for somebody to love him but for a love great enough to save him, to change his world. His white knight, his prince charming. Because if there was one thing that Blaine wanted to believe in, it was that he was out there, staring up at the sky, wishing for him.

And in the end they would both be alright.

_Blow the candles out, looks like a solo tonight  
I'm beginning to see the light  
Blow the candles out, looks like a solo tonight  
But I think I'll be alright_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**This was very interesting to write, and not as easy as I thought it would be. I hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you thought. **

**I feel like I need to rewrite Original Song now as well as the scene in Hold On where Nick tells Kurt how he and Blaine met, which I totally tried to write but didn't end up working that way.**

**The final chapter of Spreading My Wings will be posted…sometime. I need to rewatch the last two non-2009 episodes, and I feel like I need to take my time. I don't want to screw this up. :-)**


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